MERRY CHRISTMAS

Simmons:: Real American Hero

Just imagine...a man in the United States House of Representatives who is honest, funny, and true to his beliefs. Imagine that he attended the elite Haverford College, attained the rank of Colonel in the US Army, served in Vietnam, did Army Intel while he was a special operations officer in the CIA until he retired after being in the Army Reserve for 30-plus years. Stop imagining! He's already here. His name is Rob Simmons and he's the Congressman from CT's Second District. In addition to his impressive resume, he's the Republican who won the most votes in one of the most solidly Democratic districts in the country, he's bucked the president on several key issues, including Head Start funding, as his wife is an educator. Simmons forfeited pork-barrel money to bring back to the Second District so he could take a principled stand against the entitlement Medicare program.

Manchester Journal Inquirer Editorial page editor Keith Burris makes some great points about Second District Congressman Rob Simmons "congressman, soldier, and scholar" for taking on Governor John Rowland and said so in an editorial in the Journal-Inquirer. Burris goes so far as to print five paragraphs from Simmons' statement on Rowland which ended with "The problems we face as Americans at this time in our history are too important to accommodate the personal failings of one person, even if that person is the governor of Connecticut." "Wow," Burris writes, barely containing himself. "That may be as close to a Goldwater moment as we will get. Simmons is a man of independence and integrity. The real deal. It didn't really take political courage to say what he said, But it did take integrity. Is Rob Simmons the only big-name public official in the state who possesses this trait?"

Merry Christmas Eve

Santa gets flight certified by the only Democrat in Bush's Cabinet: Norman Mineta, the Secretary of Transportation. Norman is appalled by the fact that Santa won't let a TSA sky marshall on board his sleigh.

Drinking the Code Orange Juice

Okay, the DHS upped the threat level to Code Orange, or HIGH, on Monday. Since then, we've seen increased security at airports, armed guards on the roofs of malls and shopping centers, anti-missile/aircraft batteries ringed around our major cities and airports, three flights cancelled from Paris to LAX and overflights by fighter jets around the same cities and airports. Also, we've recently been put on alert for foreign-trained airline pilots, not hijackers; pilots, attacks on cargo planes, as well as WMD attacks, including 'dirty bombs' which the Pentagon says it has planned and set up contingency plans for. Not to mention, these concerns being extended to possible terrorist attacks upon US interests overseas.

What has happened since then? First of all, there was the influenza outbreak [No one is safe, HAHA!]. We became short on vaccine, dozens of children died, but what the media failed to realize was that this happens every single year. The CDC never plans for the flu outbreaks, we always run short on vaccine, and even those who were vaccinated can die. Next, there was an earthquake in California measuring 6.5 on the Richter scale, which drains precious Homeland Security emergency preparedness resources and personnel. The media made this out to look like it was the end of the world. While anybody who has ever experienced an earthquake will tell you it really isn't that big of a deal. Then, Mad Cow disease was found in a single cow in Washington state, sending the beef industry plunging, and US imports being banned almost immediately in South Korea and Japan. While this disease, Creustzfeldt-Jakob Disease, is not found in the parts of the cow that we eat here in America, the media has been hyping it up, as they always do. One cow plus non-edible parts of the cow equals a steep sell-off of fast food shares, meat-producers and beef wholesalers.

Terrorism, whose main goal is to terrorize, is defined as "to fill with terror or anxiety." I now must thank the U.S. media for being terrorists. In a season where people should be relaxing, eating, spreading good cheer, and imbibing copious amounts of egg-nog, we're forced to listen to the talking head on the tele-box drill this information into our head. It seems a new threat comes up every half hour or so and a new danger rears its ugly head. The only way I can think of to defeat terror this holiday season is to be vigilant as always...that Tofurkey may have been interecepted by al-Qaida and filled with C4 explosive.

But really, the only terrorists I'm worried about are the ones creating it: the media.

The Best Movie in the Making

Terrorists and Teetotallers

This country has had a problem with teen drinking for a long time. Ever since the Vietnam-era when the legal age was lowered to 18, teens have engaged in risky sexual behavior, gotten into automobile accidents, and overdosed on the 'fire-water'. The age was promptly ratcheted back to 21 when it was found that this was all because 18 year olds come into contact with 15, 16 and 17 year olds on a daily basis in a high school environment. So, they would end up selling alcohol to them, or so the thinking goes, because they went to school together. However, this is a minor problem when we discover that kids these days are engaging in a dangerous, and most likely terrorist, act. This is the act of purchasing and/or producing false-identification documents to purchase alcoholic beverages.

Reports have come out that, of course, drug money funds terror. Then there are more items; like bootlegged videotapes, watches sold on the streetcorner, and handbags sold on the streetcorner. This, of course, must also apply to fake IDs sold in dark allies and dwellings in less than reputable neighborhoods. So, in one fell swoop, we are allowing terrorists to gain experience creating these documents and we are funding their purchase of explosives, small arms, and shoulder-launched rockets.

You may be asking what the solution is. Well, I believe the solution is obvious: lower the drinking age again. However, we do not want the dangerous and seedy behavior that occurred in the past. So, we need to increase the price of the liquor for all, through a Pigovian tax. This is one tax that free-market economists can agree on because its main goal is to reduce negative externalities. These are problems created by the use of a product or service that are not directly intended by its sale or manufacture. The price of alcohol would rise, thus adults would be discouraged from drinking as much, and it would be less fruitful for 18 year olds to sell to younger high school students.

The enforcement aspect of this would also benefit. Instead of giving federal funds to more DUI stops; alcohol education programs and free cab services could be funded, instead. Now, the increased price might also cause more stealing, as many alcoholics already resort to that when they are short on cash. The problem with this new tax is that, in all likelihood, this group would increase in size as the price went up. To fix this, the police could divert attention away from enforcing liquor license laws of establishments selling to minors, DUI stops, as cabs and educational programs would reduce the instance of people driving under the influence, as well as high school parties with alcohol on the premises. The police could then focus on burglary and robbery, rather than the victimless crimes of throwing a party and selling booze to minors. Most importantly, however, they could focus instead on something that could keep us all feeling safer and more secure: being the first responders in the event of a terrorist attack.

Ya wanna get ?

A Hole to Call His Own

Surely Libyan dictator, Colonel Moammar Qadafi was watching the news the day Saddam was captured. If he wasn't, Iraqi Debt Negotiator, Fmr. Sec'y of State, James Baker, told him that in no uncertain terms. President Bush said in a press conference on Friday that Libya's dictator had agreed to put a stop to all of his Weapons of Mass Destruction programs. NIne months ago, Secretary Baker was dispatched by the President to conduct secret talks with Libya to dismantle its weapons programs, in exchange for being taken off the State Department's list of rogue states and for sanctions to be lifted.

You may remember that last year, the terroristy-sponsoring state of Libya, responsible for the downing of Pan Am 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, was named chair of the UN Human Rights Commission and had its UN sanctions lifted. The source of many a joke, this has actually been the first step in de-fanging yet another nation inimical to the process of freedom and justice in the Muslim world. It also admitted its responsibility for the Pan Am attack, which also helped keep it on this course.

Clearly, the Colonel must have been inspired to make his final announcement because his ol' chum Saddam was dug out of a spider hole looking haggard and defeated. I doubt Moammar wants that same fate to be awaiting him. However, we shall see if he lives up to the task the international community has set before him: to dismantle his WMDs, put a stop to all WMD programs and take off those damn ugly shades. But, the real question is if IAEA Chief Mohammad al-Baradei who along with Mr. Hans "Magoo" Blix, couldn't find anything in Iraq, will be able to discover weapons programs that Libya has admitted it has.

However, Libya's misdeeds cannot be soon forgiven. They killed Americans, and that is something many, especially those who lost loved ones on that flight, can neither forgive nor forget...ever. Chrisopher Hitchens said in a recent Slate article that, "Those who put bombs on civilian aircraft usually don't much care who is on board; their point is made by the pile of random corpses in the wreckage. (It's amazing to me that one still has to argue this point with those searching for nobler motives: The explosive is just as likely to be on Noam Chomsky's or Michael Moore's flight, and one day they may awaken to this self-evident fact.)"

Shut your piehole...

...Or Wesley Clark "will beat the shit out of you."

"I'll beat the s--- out of them," Clark told a questioner as he walked through the crowd after a town hall meeting Saturday. "I hope that's not on television," he added.

It was, live, on C-SPAN.

The campaign's traveling press secretary, Jamal Simmons, was with Clark at the time.

"If anyone tries to question Wes Clark's character, integrity or his commitment to this country or its security, they're going to be in the biggest fight they've ever had," Simmons said.

Just think, if they added the motorcyle-riding, leather jacket-wearing John "F" Kerry to the ticket, they could go after Bush with the slogan: "Eff this Sh*t'".

Soucie 2004...

I took the test to find out who my ideal candidate for president would be. I would say I'd have to agree with it pretty much. Except for the fact that Kerry is above my boy, Joe. No matter, Bush still gets my vote!

1) Your ideal theoretical candidate. [98%]
2) Bush, President George W. - Republican [57%]
3) Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat [56%]
4) Lieberman, Senator Joe, CT - Democrat [53%]
5) Libertarian Candidate [53%]
6) Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (52%)
7) Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat [49%]
8) Gephardt, Rep. Dick, MO - Democrat [46%]
9) Kucinich, Rep. Dennis, OH - Democrat [44%]
10) Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat [36%]
11) Clark, Retired General Wesley K., AR - Democrat [30%]
12) Phillips, Howard - Constitution [22%]
13) Moseley-Braun, Fmr. Sen. Carol, IL - Democrat [20%]

::As a GW student, Soucie will be working on the Bush '04 Campaign in Arlington, VA. He will also be afforded the convenience of many, educational internship opportunities. Maybe even the White House!

Daddy?

James Carville "Ragin' Cajun"		Gollum "Smeagol"

James Carville aka "The Ragin' Cajun," from CNN's Crossfire, and Gollum, also known as "Smeagol," of The Lord of the Rings trilogy fame want to know if they were separated at birth. The two will soon undergo an interspecial DNA test to determine whether or not they have the same father. However, until all of the kinks are worked out on this new scientific discovery, they are asking the public to help find their fathers. The two have led similarly bitter lives, attacking those with "power" and spewing venom at their respective good guys; George W. Bush and Frodo Baggins. Help them, please...before their lives become even more miserable!

UPDATE::This just in...test results have proven the two are related. However, Mr. Carville just received the news that his long lost brother died in a fiery stream of flowing magma attempting to steal a "ring of power" from Mr. Frodo Baggins. Reports say that Mr. Carville is grieving the loss of the brother he barely knew, while mumbling bitter epithets in Cajun. The identity and whereabouts of their father are still, as of yet, unknown. Developing...

::As a GW student, Soucie will be attending Crossfire alot, as it is filmed right on campus! Keep an eye out for more notes like this, because Soucie's goin' to college!

Conventional Wisdom::Defeated Today!

General Odniero, one of the leaders of the coalition's northern patrol predicted during the war that Saddam Hussein would be hiding somewhere in Tikrit, his hometown, which is very loyal to him. The armchair generals, political pundits, foreign policy "experts," and news correspondents all said this was impossible.

Their thinking was based in the idea that Saddam's hiding in his own hometown would be way too obvious. Hey! Nobody ever said Saddam was smart. Odniero proved them all wrong when during the coalition press conference today he said, "Well, as I've said for a long time, Saddam was found right outside Tikrit, his hometown."

Saddam was in fact found in Adwar, 15 km from Tikrit. Odniero proved them all wrong. The media pundits didn't get a chance to play 'gotcha' with the general. Which proves a lesson; we're fortunate that most criminals are so stupid. Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to catch them. This definitely qualifies for a special edition of World's Dumbest Criminals.

The real irony in this was that, as Odniero pointed out in that same press conference, that from the farmhouse Saddam was hiding under, you could look across the river to Hussein's palaces. Those are the same palaces he paid for with the blood money of innocent Iraqis. Now, he will soon join those 400,000 lost souls, in the hereafter.

"The former dictator of Iraq will face the justice he denied to millions..."
- George Walker Bush, American Hero

Down to the Future

Ooh, how fate does conspire! Looks like the fates learned foreshadowing. Could this be in The Butcher of Baghdad's future anytime soon?

"Saddam is gone from power. He will not be coming back. That the Iraqi people now know, and it is they who will decide his future."
-British Prime Minister, Tony Blair

Oh, the times we had, Saddam...

Here's some comic relief to remind you how funny it would have been to see Saddam Hussein MOAB'ed:

It's time to Bomb Saddam

Or, we could work on diplomacy with Usama and Friends

We always knew they were working together...

And remember those protesters? Ah, the memories

How about Mohammad al-Saheed Sahaff? The Iraqi Information Minister, what a politician!

And those Dixie Chicks! Ah, the Dippy Chicks...

And then when you decided to let the war happen, Mr. Hussein, those brave hippies that came to protect you...and what the Iraqis thought.

And on a sobering note, 10,943 reminders of why the French should be supporting us

Good Morning, World

"We are ready to sacrifice our souls, our children and our families so as not to give up Iraq. We say this so no one will think that America is capable of breaking the will of the Iraqis with its weapons." - Saddam before the war

"Iraq's future, your future, has never looked more full of hope." -Paul Bremer

Hey world, while you were sleeping, something splendid occurred. We got him! In an operation by Force-121 called Operation: Red Dawn, we took Saddam Hussein from a basement of a basement in a raid, on a small farmhouse 15 km south of Tikrit, by the US military. When he was pulled up, he had a beard that rivaled that of Al Gore. He had been living in a deep hole with a secret door. The length and width were 3 ft by 3 ft and the ventilation was provided by a crude pipe and fan haphazardly secured to the wall. A corpsman examined him for lice and stuck a tongue depressor in his mouth, looking around with a flashlight, wearing latex gloves. How humiliating for the former dictator of one of the Middle East's most prosperous nations. Now, he is probably being interrogated by some young twenty-something Army Intel soldier.

Whatever happened to dying for a cause? Why did Saddam's sons perish in such a brutal, although tragically brave way, and he, their "fearless leader" go so quietly? The answer: he's a damned coward. He wanted his people to die for him, his sons to die for him, but is so selfish that he could never stand to die for his own cause. Why did he, a self-proclaimed "hygiene freak," let himself get so dirty, so greasy and so disheveled? Again, because he values his life above all else.

There was dancing in the streets; communists, democrats, Muslims, all celebrating together the demise of this terrible man. Iraqi reporters gave the coalition a standing ovation at the press conference announcing Saddam's capture, then they shouted "Death to Saddam!" as video footage of his medical exam was shown.

Also celebrating were the leaders of France and Germany, both who stated that they were happy Saddam was captured. They only ask the coalition that any documents postmarked from Paris or Berlin be shipped back to them. Also, for their delight at Saddam's demise they probably want contracts too? Eh? Non. That won't happen. We got Saddam, we liberated a nation, we killed terrorists and fanatics, and now we're going to run the country until we can give it back to the Iraqis who deserve it. They have suffered under Saddam for decades. France and Germany have only suffered financially for hush money.

The Iraqis realized it was increasingly important to come forward with information. Months ago, citizens started coming forward with knowledge of the outer circle protecting Saddam, who in turn were captured and gave up the inner circle. Acting on this intelligence, all human intel, might I add, which no amount of space-age technology we have could match. The 4th ID was notified by intelligence analysts, and within three hours had gone to the first location Saddam might have been at, then moved on to the second, and captured him. That is some amazing work by our soldiers.

This is the wicked witch, ding-dong he's dead [well, effectively]. The amount of intelligence we can gather from Saddam is immense. Reports tell that as soon as he was captured, he was willing to talk. Ostensibly, he made disparaging remarks about the Iraqi people, as well. Saddam's capture will not only help us seek out the rest of the top Ba'athists, but also put an end to much of the fighting. I don't pretend to suppose that all the terrorist attacks will stop, as anti-Americanism, not Ba'athist support, is the crux of most of them. However, I am certain that Iraqis will no longer have to live under the tyranny of fear that Saddam represented. Now he will, in all likelihood be tried by the people he had formerly oppressed. Not to say how Howie Dean's whole message about Bush not finding Usama, WMDs or Saddam, will be shattered. Let us all dance!

"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent." -Thomas Jefferson

A Real American Hero

Lt. Colonel Allen West of the 4th Infantry Division will be demoted and has been ordered to pay a fine of $5,000 for violating the United States Uniform Code of Military Justice. Is he another terrorist in our military sneaking out documents from Gitmo? Nope. Is he a grenade-throwing Muslim convert? Not a chance! Did he kill innocent civilians? Kill anyone outside of combat? No and no. Is he gay? Sir, please. Don't ask, don't tell. Plus, he's married with kids.

West was brought up on charges for assault, assault of an enemy captive. He stood by while his men beat an Iraqi man, then he fired a gun near that man's ear, whizzing past him, hitting a barrel. The prosecutor, a woman, also charged him with torture. During the Lt. Col.'s pre-trial held in Tikrit, he was directed to read his statement immediately following his arrest, which stated, "In my anger, I could not say how many bullets were fired." So, on the basis of labeling him as a maverick, trigger-happy soldier, he was found guilty in the eyes of the media.

If this debate were going on in an ethics class, they would not only look at that side, but what the consequences of West's actions were. He found that Yahya Jhodri Hamoody, the Iraqi he was interrogating, had information about assassination attempts on his own life. When he fired the bullet, Hamoody was so frightened, he cracked and told West how they planned to ambush a convoy the Lt. Col. would be riding in. Having this information, West prevented the loss of his own life and countless other American men and women in uniform who could have been in that convoy.

Now, in disgrace, Lt. Colonel West is resigning. He made this announcement in front of his former men, some who broke down in tears. Today, the United States military lost a courageous man and a true hero. Our country is now weaker because of those who can not appreciate what we must go through in order to preserve and defend freedom.

Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me there. We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to. -Col. Nathan Jessup, A Few Good Men

The Cheese Stands Alone

"Us rural people..."

When all the candidates in Thursday night's debate were asked whether Howard Dean could beat Bush by Ted Koppel, only Dean raised his hand. While this is proof of the lack of direction and subsatance in the news media today, it's also a great shot I hope to see on billboards and television commercials when Bush goes up against Dean in the general election.

The farmer in the dell, the farmer in the dell,
Hi-ho, the derry-o, the farmer in the dell...
The rat takes the cheese, the rat takes the cheese,
Hi-ho, the derry-o, the rat takes the cheese.
The cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone,
Hi-ho, the derry-o, the cheese stands alone.

Tired of the Pessimism?

In the spirit of the RNC's new ad about the angry pessimism Democrats are exhibiting toward Bush, here is a picture showing its true origins. Note Gore and the inset of Hitler? All too similar hair-dos as of late, and Dean heiling him doesn't help much either.

Dean's Cabinet

In a Pre-Calculus class-induced haze, I started to think up what Howie Dean's cabinet would look like should wings suddenly sprout from the anterior of pigs, and the little porkers go aflutter, and he sits in the Oval Office. I started to think, why shouldn't the other candidates get the top picks for positions? They've been with Dean all along, running for president, so they should all get a shot.

Secretary of State - Carol Mosley Braun - She has been a U.S. ambassador, showing her superb foreign policy credentials. Also, she had no idea what her college major was when asked, responding "I dunno, maybe Political Science." This goes hand in hand with the disastrous foreign policy Dean will no doubt enact.

Secretary of Defense - Wesley Clark - Only because Dean thought those four stars on Wes' uniform were pretty and the shiny boots make him look like a soldier.

Secretary of Peace - Dennis Kucinich - With Dean's protest of the war and solid backing by anti-war demonstrators, Kucinich, the poster-child for such views, would be perfect for his own proposal of a Department of Peace. This building will no doubt take over the Pentagon, which will then be tie-dyed to get rid of that "nasty, drab, grey color."

Secretary of the Interior - Albert Gore - In his younger days, an environmentalist writer, Gore would be perfect to protect our National Parks. Also, with his recent Grizzly Adams look, Gore would be perfect to fit in with the lumberjacks and birkenstock hippies. He and pals Yogi and Smokey will do all in their power to cut down on pik-a-nik baskets and forest fires.

Office of Nat'l Drug Ctrl. Policy - Kucinich, again - Though doing double duty, Kucinich could definitely handle these two jobs. He is also the best choice when matched with the views of Dean. When asked during CNN's Rock the Vote whether or not he smoked marijuana, Kucinich responded, "No, but I'd decriminalize it!" Sounds like Howie's kinda guy. After his year as a ski-bum in Aspen, he must be very close to that substance.

Attorney General - John Edwards - Cuz he's a lawya! We really need a guy who thinks all the terrorists in Guantanamo should be freed. We want somebody who shares Dean's mission to drive this nation into the ground.

Secretary of Labor - Dick Gephardt - Dick, of the nine candidates, is the one who has recieved the most union endorsements. He also, over the course of his career spanning some three decades, has had campaigns almost completely funded by unions and union PACs. What we really need for Dean to undo Bush's progress with labor is somebody to let loose the union leadership to corral their membership like cattle, abusing their money without accountability, and making shady backroom political deals with the Democratic Party.

Secretary of Housing & Urban Development - Al Sharpton - We don't expect Dean to take to kindly to the black community after comments about the south rising again, or some such statement. So, he'll put Sharpton, the lightning rod of racial politics into a relatively insignificant post, but one that is also important to the black community.

Secretary of Homeland Security - John Kerry - After completely de-funding the department because Dean cares nothing about our national security, he and Kerry will kick back with their old Yale letter jackets on and tap out a keg.

Yea, as you may or may not have noticed, Joe Lieberman wasn't mentioned in this list. That's only because Gore essentially gave him a slap in the face, kicking him out of the "new wing" of the Party. Dean's going to play some playground politics and nah, nah, na, nah, nah Joe Lieberman until he comes crying back home to Connecticut.

But let us return to reality for a moment. As Al Sharpton put it during the debates about 'bossism' and Tammany Hall-like acts with Gore's endorsement of Dean, "I know how much Al Gore and Howard Dean love the internet. But, 'www Bossism' don't work on my computer!" Dean does the love the internet, he's a computer geek and a slave to the boss system that is so prevalent in the DNC. Look for the field to be narrowed once Howie starts hitting that delete key...*poof* *poof* *poof*

For Mother Russia!

I don't normally focus on international politics, but this was too good to pass up. Russia had its Parliamentary elections yesterday. While the Prime Minister was casting his ballot, he was egged by a protester who disagreed with the current Russian government's policies. It seems old habits have died hard in the "New Russia." They have invaded Chechnya, gotten involved in the Georgian coup, and Putin has jailed Russia's most prominent businessman and his most formidable political rival.

The elections in Russia were monitored by several different poll-monitoring groups that normally watch third-world elections, and were called in 2002 to Florida to make sure 2000 did not happen again. Many reported inconsistencies where money was being sent to pro-Putin parties [who got more than 98% of the vote], fueling negative operations against opponents, and even ballot-rigging. The White House also lodged a public complaint with the voting in Russia, agreeing with the blistering assessment of the international elections overseers that Russia had regressed in its democratization.

...Back to the egg: After being asked by a reporter what he thought of being pegged with an egg while casting his ballot, the Prime Minster stated, "Well, that's democracy." When Putin was asked what his feelings on the election were, he said they were "another step in strengthening Russia's democracy." Now, in an election that has defeated more pro-Western, liberal democratic parties since the Berlin Wall fell and Reagan won the Cold War, there is one big looming problem. People who run a true democracy do not need to make comments about democracy and put up the facade that everything is just peachy. Democracy just is.

More Gore

Al Gore will announce tonight that he is endorsing Howard Dean for president. What does this mean for all of us? Nothing, really. However, we know that the former leader of the Democratic party will now 'pass the torch' on to the already de facto leader, Dean. We can rest assured that Hillary has no more chance because people that voted for Gore's centrist, although boring, platform last time, will now flock to Dean because of Gore. Although it's been said before, Howard Dean will be the nominee, and Bush could have a hard time if he keeps pissing off socially progressive and liberal Republicans.

News reports say Hometown Joe Lieberman did not hear about Gore's endorsement of Dean through their customary Blackberry relationship, but through the media. You have to pity Lieberman, who had to run to the left during his VP run with Gore, deferred his announcement, thus losing hundreds of thousands of dollars in possible campaign donations, until Gore said he would not run. This is not the "establishment wing" of the Democratic party giving an endorsement, but one asshole endorsing another, angrier, and more animated one.

Where's the honor in that party? McAuliffe is going to have a hard time holding his leaky ship together in this coming primary season. With Hillary secretly sniping at Dean, Lieberman getting booed at debates, and Kerry, a formidable and moderate candidate, losing his front-seat on the roller-coaster to the convention, Gore could, in the spirit of Will Rogers' "I'm not a member of an organized party. I'm a Democrat," and scream that rallying cry: "There is no controlling legal authority. NO controlling legal authority, NO controlling legal authority..."

Dreams DO Come True

Eminem to be investigated by Secret Service!

Rappin' Assassin'

Abraham Lincoln was shot by actor, John Wilkes Booth at Ford Theater because he disagreed with Lincoln on his 'invasion' of his Southern homeland and the Emancipation Proclamation. Ronald Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr., a man with an obsession for actress, Jodie Foster, who carried out his attempted assassination to try to impress her.

Now, there is the moral right-wing. Commentators like Bill O'Reilly, Evangelicals like Pat Robertson, all paint hip-hop music as degenerative. They don't like the 'cuss words,' the subjugation of women [even though they both probably feel a woman's place is in 'hearth & home'], and they do not like the violent behavior that is displayed in the lyrics or in music videos.

Some rappers have chosen to fight back by coming on television and blasting Bill O'Reilly or attending anti-war demonstrations and blasting the president's foreign policy as 'Modern Crusades' or 'taking funds away from the war on poverty'. However, Eminem, the white rapper from Detroit who has come under fire in the past for maligning gays, singing about killing his mom and beating his wife, has decided to take a different approach. Instead of blasting policies and ideas, he just wants to blow the president away. His new song, We as Americans, Marshall Mathers sings:

'F**k money. I don't rap for dead presidents. I'd rather see the president dead. It's never been said, but I set precedents and the standards and they can't stand it... We as Americans. Us as a citizen. We've got to protect ourselves'...

Hanging out with the likes of 50 Cent, who was shot 8 times during a drug deal, I tend to believe 'Em' is capable of such behavior. I would recommend a full investigation by the Secret Service into this matter. Eminem is a thug who needs to be taught a lesson: That words can hurt people and that his often do.

In Praise of Shays

Chris Shays [R-CT,4] is my favorite Connecticut politician. This humble, affable man is one of the most independent minds in the U.S. House of Representatives. During the Clinton impeachment scandal, he was on the fence about voting to impeach. He decided to have a town-meeting in Norwalk to discuss the issue and decided to vote against impeachment. When all the Gingrich Republicans went one way, Shays went the way of his conscience and his constituents, as all elected officials should do.

You would think that a man who represents the richest county in the nation [Fairfield County, CT] that he would also come from money. Would you be surprised to find out this man drives a Yugo? No joke, he does. Shays co-sponsored the Shays-Meehan campaign finance reform bill. When this bill came up, Speaker Dennis Hastert and the rest of the Republican establishment cringed. However, it passed, and has, along with McCain-Feingold, to take the monied-interests out of politics and give it back to the people.

Chris Shays, we salute you!

Ban Coulter

In recent years, many have remarked upon the "lowering of American political discourse." Republicans are becoming more Conservative, Democrats becoming more Liberal. A new breed of pundits have emerged from this primordial slime that have served to polarize the electorate. One of the most offensive of these stormtroopers of spin is Ann Coulter. Her trendy tone of snarky cynicism is complemented by some of the most consistently emotional, subrational jargon in national politics. She has written two books critiquing American politics, saying that Conservatives [note: not Republicans], have been victimized by the left, Slandered by the liberal media, and as a result become traitors themselves. She labels all liberals in this manner and any Republican who has moderate to progressive political leanings. She tolerates no ambiguity. The world is black and white to her. It is always 'us' versus 'them'. She has stated that "The swing voters---I like to refer to them as the idiot voters because they don't have set philosophical principles. You're either a liberal or you're a conservative if you have an IQ above a toaster." So, we are to believe that human beings do not have emotions, that we are born into one set ideology or another, that minds cannot change, and that dissent cannot be tolerated? Yea, that was a fantastic tactic that Hitler had.

On the issue of "elevating debate," Coulter has done so much, along with Al Franken, Michael Moore, David Limbaugh and Paul Krugman, to destroy intellectually honest debate in our republic. She does not ever admit that a liberal can be right. In her mind, it is impossible. She's said that "A central component of liberal hate speech is to make paranoid accusations based on their own neurotic impulses, such as calling Republicans angry, hate-filled, and mean." Well, we seem to be exploring the regions of the glass-house again. Anybody who is honest with their own political ideology and with themselves as a human being can admit that Republicans and Conservatives do the same. We label liberals as 'Commies,' 'Socialists,' 'Hippies,' and 'Potheads.' So, we really should not venture into the realm of saying things like, "Political debate with liberals is basically impossible in America because liberals are calling names while conservatives are trying to make arguments...It's really all the same lie [that liberals tell], that conservatives are either stupid or scarily weird and therefore you don't have to deal with their ideas." If this is what 'starting political debate' means, I do not want to see invective.

Now, she seems to have logic in her arguments that liberals tend toward hate speech moreso than conservatives, but 'Nay madam, I know not seems.'

Since liberals can't just say that they hate democracy because democracy requires persuasion and compromise rather than brute political force, they accuse any potential "strict constructionists" of being closet slavery supporters. Ludicrous ad hominem attacks on conservative nominees are then used as a basis for the respectable press to refer to the nominee as "divisive." You are "divisive" if you have been the victim of McCarthyite slanders from the left.

Now, here is a critique of that column by Spinsanity, a website dedicated to seeking out the bull on both sides of the aisle:

Again, she is using language that simulates rationality to make emotionally aggressive points here. Coulter creates the trope that liberals "hate democracy" - her argument supporting this point is that "[c]onservatives always knew they had to win at the ballot box; liberals prefer to skip voting and win by judicial fiat." Having made this assertion, she argues that liberals want to use "brute political force", an insinuation of repressed authoritarianism. Finally, criticism of conservative nominees is caricatured as accusations of supporting slavery and general "McCarthyite slanders". The conscious illogic of this paragraph is breathtaking.

She hates anyone to the left of the spectrum [Well, to her there isn't a spectrum]. She is as violent in her opposition to them as she says they are to us. In a recent column, she said, "Most of the abortionists were shot or, depending upon your point of view, had a procedure performed on them with a rifle. This brings the total to: seven abortion providers to 30 million fetuses dead, which is also a pretty good estimate of how the political battle is going." In a debate that could be sensible over the merits of abortion or the lack thereof, she again descends into demagoguery. People have actually taken shots at OBGYNs who perform these procedures and many have died. People do listen when this hate speech is thrown around. She might not care because it sells books and gets her on more television shows, but these are just simple doctors trying to make a living and support their families.

On a lighter note, her favorite targets are the Democrats in Washington. Does she attack their policies? No. Their voting records? No. She, instead, feels that ad hominem attacks are the way to get people riled up about an issue. She attacks Clinton, under the guise of a policy attack, by saying he had "crack pipes on the White House Christmas tree." Humorous and witty? Yes. Anything close to reality or having to do with policy? Positively not! She uses Clinton, Stalin, and Ted Kennedy, as names to which Conservatives normally perk their ears up, to get their blood boiling over some issue of policy. Again, not attacking the merits of that policy, but attempting to elicit an emotional reaction from her readers. I admit, all those people get me angry. Not because of who they were, though. Instead, because of what they did. Clinton was an adulterer and a liar, and proved so under the oath of a federal grand jury. When he broke the law, it became public business, but not before then. Stalin purged his military out of paranoia and led the Soviet economy into the ground with his anachronistic Communist views. Coulter maligns them purely to stir up certain knee-jerk, reactionary feelings.

We know that she hates liberals, that she thinks they have backed conservatives into a corner, turned them into an endangered species, and then gone out and shredded the Constitution and committed treason against their own country. However, where are her views? What does she think? Well, to start, she is a Christian fanatic. After 9/11 she wrote, "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." Her column was immediately dropped by National Review, a prominent and well-respected conservative publication. They realized that her views were out of league with most Americans' and that the image of a modern Crusade would stir up the hornet's nest of the Middle East even more. Coulter labeled an entire chapter in her book, Slander, "The Apocryphal Religious Right." Wherein, she denies the existence of Evangelical, Bible-belters working together for more Conservative politicans. So, there is no Moral Majority or 700 Club. It's all just a myth, right Ann?

Granted, her sardonic wit is attractive to many people, as is she. However, the devolution of rational, honest political debate in our country has been sped along mightily by this media whore. She loves the spotlight and will say almost, well...everything to get in front of that next TV camera, emasculate that next liberal talking-head, and impugn the patriotism of that next Democratic strategist. All of this in the name of 'Conservatism'. She is not a Conservative, and she certainly is not a Republican. She says she 'swooned' over Dubya during the 2000 election, and that she remains 'doe-eyed,' but she has written one column since then praising the President. She is not advancing the cause of conservatism or of our Republic. She is more 'anti' what she percieves to be inimical to those causes than she is 'pro' anything.

Farewell, Rowland

It is with a heavy heart and great apprehension that I make the following announcement: I no longer support Connecticut's most prominent Republican and most effective chief executive, Gov. John G. Rowland.

With a wave of scandals hitting the papers and locals news networks, I have thus far been able to cope. After meeting the Governor during my internsip at CT Republican State Central this past summer, I came to respect him. I wrote off all of the scandals as political mudslinging by obviously biased newspapers.

The governor used State Central's credit cards for private matters, writing them off as political and campaign-related expenses. When the Elections Enforcement Commission investigated, he was fined and had to pay back all the charges over $200, even though most of the expenses were for dinners, where they hardly ever came near costing that much per dinner. The governor was also implicated in a deal trying to get the Connecticut Resources Recovery Authority to set up contracts in the state. The CRRA dealt with Enron, and Rowland claimed he never had anything to do with it, nor did he ever speak with anyone at Enron. Recent reports show that internal emails at Enron mention the involvement of Rowland with various officials at the "crooked E." Numerous officials in state agencies, such as former State Treasurer [appointed by Rowland to fill a vacancy] Paul Silvester. However, nobody has gone after Rowland. Many have tried to seek out his wrongdoing, but he is so well insulated and has such an iron grip over his staff that it is near impossible.

Now, Rowland is the subject of yet another investigation. Two contractors who worked on his lake-house in Bantam, CT have been subpoenaed by a grand jury and will soon testify. They will tell that jury whether or not they gave legitimate discounts when renovating Rowland's home, or whether they charged well below fair-market value so that their construction companies, Tommasso Construction being one of them in question, could win bids on contracts for the State of Connecticut.

I was stomaching this for the past couple days, weighing the pros and cons, the possibility he could be innocent, but I have made my decision. I traveled up to Hartford today to check in with State Central, find out how everybody was doing, get some more Bush\Cheney bumper stickers, etc. I talked with the political director there and he said he would be leaving soon to go work on a Republican's Senate campaign who's trying to oust Dodd. I asked him about the governor and he told me he had no idea what was going on. Normally, he would have. He worked for the governor's campaigns since 1998 and normally privy to what goes on at the Capitol. He told me that he was glad he was leaving, because he said, "everyday I open the paper, there's something new." I took that to heart, thought about it on the way home. Then I looked at the Hartford Courant today and noticed that Dave Boomer was leaving.

Boomer, for the uninitiated, is Special Assistant to the Governor. He has the job Karl Rove had in Texas when Bush was governor. [Note: Karl Rove is considered to have singlehandedly transformed Texas from a true-blue Democrat state to the red-meat Republican bastion it is today]. Boomer was also named by the Courant as "Connecticut's Karl Rove." He is the guy who makes all the political decisions and keeps the policy in line. He was predicted to stay with Rowland throughout his political career, possibly to a cabinet position in the Bush administration or possibly President one day. Now he is going back to Nebraska to run for the state legislature. Obviously, cornhusking is more important than contractors.

With that, I jump in my life raft to watch the last chances of Republican control in Connecticut sink to the briny deep. Our Rising Star has supernovaed. Remember, the captain always goes down with the ship.

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct. -Thomas Jefferson

Dean Buys Glass House

Howard Dean clearly never studied his gospel very well. Oh, that's right he grew up in Manhattan. They killed God a long time ago. Jesus tells a group of angry villagers ready to stone an adulterous woman, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." The crowd pauses, then promptly disperses.

Dean starting slinging when he told the Bush administration that it needed to release sensitive documents to the 9/11 Commission. Fair enough, but Howie, look in the mirror.

Daylight laws are an integral part of our democracy. If information is not of a pressing national security concern that it must be kept secret, then all information passed, gathered, collected, and regurgitated by the federal government should be made available to us. It makes us more informed citizens and the government seems more credible.

Dean sees this, but clearly he is an unabashed, unapologetic hypocrite. Governor Dean refuses to release what are in his files from his tenure as Vermont's chief executive. Which leads us to ask, what is he hiding? Most likely it is embarassing memos revealing his contempt and anger toward everybody around him, or shady dealings with state contractors.

Still yet, it could be a secret plan to annex Vermont to Canada. But, then again, why would you want to hide that? People would rejoice! Clearly, there are no pressing national security issues facing Ben & Jerry's commune, so it must be the formerly presented ideas.

Dean came back with another cheap shot today, he said that Bush should release his files, and then he will release his. Well, the records were moved back to the State of Texas by order of the attorney general and a state archivist says that all records of President Bush are available for public viewing. So much for that, Howie!

He also has the audacity to criticize our president on defense issues! George W. Bush has done more than any president in modern history to strengthen both our domestic and international security. He referred to the administration as "those people in the White House who never served a day in their lives overseas." Well, Dean never did either. At least Bush was in the military, albeit the Texas ANG. With Dean criticizing the Pentagon policy of not showing coffins on TV, I wonder if he thinks it alright to show his brother's coffin. His brother recieved a full military burial, 21-gun salute, Marine honor-guard an all after his body was discovered in Cambodia last month. The only problem was, he and his Australian friend were killed by the Khmer Rouge while backpacking the Ho Chi Minh trail as tourists. Neither served a day in American uniform, both got Old Glory draped over their coffins.

If Dean were president...well, former Senator Bob Dole did not mince words on that subject. Dole stated, "I thank God F.D.R. was my commander in chief in WWII. Had it been Howard Dean we would have not participated. This would have saved lives and none of us would have been wounded. Just one little problem: we would have lost our liberty and freedom."

It looks as if engaging in straight talk and honest public debate is inimical to the humours of one Dr. Governor Howard Dean. He follows that ol' saying from Montpelier, "Those who live in grass statehouses must get stoned."